so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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