My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
whose parrot is this?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
