I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She needs sedatives and a leash
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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