so explain again why im purple
no
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
