New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
