Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
