it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
