rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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