Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
