he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
