But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
