I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
