So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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