Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
