so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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