dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Rumble strips road head = magical
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
