Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
