it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
