if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
