Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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