the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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