His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
