god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
