I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
