Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
