So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
