K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I didn't notice because vodka
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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