the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The power of my boobs compel you
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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