I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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