There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
