You really coming over, don't trick.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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