Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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