dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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