she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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