we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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