Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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