We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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