I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
