finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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