I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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