If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
