You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
