He is like the real live version of the state fair..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
