I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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