Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
