how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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