does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
