All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.