the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me