Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
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Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
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I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?