I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.