Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
I'm just crazy horny about you
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.