Already got asked if we're dating
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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