I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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