Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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