that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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